Vegeta's Bad Day
by MrTennek
Summary: Vegeta goes out on a simple errand to get some fast food for his family, but the situation quickly turns ridiculously difficult.


DBZ - Vegeta's Bad Day

-(at Vegeta's house)-

Vegeta - Alright Vegeta, remember; this is absolutely vital to your survival. You cannot forget what has been passed on to you, for your duties are far too important. All of mankind-  
ney, the entire world is resting on your shoulders! Don't fail yourself now, for it--

Waiter - Can I take your order sir?

Vegeta - (snaps out of it) Huh? Oh yeah, one moment. Eh...That'll be two big-macs, one fillet of fish, and three sides of extra-large, fat injected fries of death.

Waiter - Alright, that comes to $14.95. Please drive up to the next window and be prepared to p--

Vegeta - Do I get a happy meal toy with this?

Waiter - Wha-- What?

Vegeta - A happy meal toy! Do I get one you fool? My son absolutely loves those bloody stupid things, and the last time I didn't bring one home, not only did he cry and go Super Saiyan on my ass, but I didn't get any poonany from my wife for a week!

Waiter - Uh...

Children Behind Vegeta - (crying loudly)

Vegeta - Now then, do I have my choice of which toy, or is it some random kind of draw? Because my boy really likes the hamburglar one, and it'd be great if you could--

Waiter - Sir, if you could just pull up already, there's a mob of people forming behind you, and we don't need things getting unruly around here, if you know what I mean!

Vegeta - Fine. But that thing had better be a hamburglar, or your ass is grass! (drives up)

-(moments later)-

Vegeta - (pulls up behind another car) Ah, almost done. Shouldn't be too much longer for me to get my food...

(several minutes pass)

Vegeta - (tapping on his dashboard)

(more time passes)

Vegeta - (starts angrily thwapping his fist on the wheel)

(an hour passes)

Vegeta - WHAT THE BLOODY HE-- (sticks his head out the window) WHAT IS TAKING SO DAMNED LONG!

Customer Ahead of Vegeta - (in a thick East Indian accent) No no no, you don't understand me right!  
I said I want packets!

Waiter - And I keep telling you sir, our complementary jackets are no longer in circulation!

Customer Ahead of Vegeta - NO! PACKETS! As in condiments!

Waiter - Sir, our complementary condoms ran out over a month ago-- there's nothing I can d--

Customer Ahead of Vegeta - CONDIMENTS YOU STUPID CRACKER JACKER FLACKER MACKER TACKER QUACKER--

Vegeta - JESUS CHRIST, JUST GIVE HIM THE DAMN PACKETS AND G--

Waiter - Sir, do NOT make me call the police! Anyways, as I was saying...

Vegeta - AAAUUUUGGGGHHHHHH! (slumps his head back)

-(two hours later)-

Customer - I want to speak to your manager! I ask for packet three hour ago-- THREE HOUR AGO-- and I still waiting!

Waiter - Sir, he'll just tell you the same thing that I've been telling you all along-- WE DON'T HAVE CRACKERS--

Customer - AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (explodes into flames)

Waiter - Wow, didn't see that one coming.

Vegeta - CAN I HAVE MY FRIGGEN FOOD N--

(a firetruck pulls up and dents the hell out of Vegeta's brand new sports car)

Vegeta - ...

(two firemen put the blazing man out and leave)

(long silence)

Waiter - Next customer please!

Vegeta - (pulls up with a look of blood-lust in his eyes)

Waiter - Alright, here's your four big macs, your two sundaes, and your happy meal toy!

Vegeta - What the-- THAT'S NOT WHAT I ORD-- Oh screw it, I'M NOT GETTING STUCK BEHIND SOME MAD CONDIMENT DRIVEN TERRORIST AGAIN! (grabs the food and drives out) They better have given me the right toy! (looks in the bag and finds that there's a Hamburgler toy inside) Oh, thank goodn--

The Hamburgler - (bitch slaps Vegeta through his open window and takes the toy)

Vegeta - ...

The Hamburgler - (throws a grenade in Vegeta's car and runs away)

Vegeta - (gets blown sky high)

-(not too long later at Vegeta's house)-

Vegeta - (pulls up in his car and goes inside, completely blackened from smoke)

Bulma - It's about time! Do you know how long we've been waiting here! Trunks is just about starving to death! I hope you at least got the right food this time!

Vegeta - (places the bag down and walks away zombie-like)

Bulma - (looks through the bag) Wha-- VEGETA, THIS ISN'T WHAT I ASKED YOU TO PICK UP! (smacks him hard across the face)

Trunks - AND YOU FORGOT MY HAMBURGLAR TOY AGAIN! (kicks Vegeta in the nuts) YOU BITCH!  
(cries and runs off)

Vegeta - ...

Bulma - ...Well I hope your happ--

The Hamburgler - (runs in and karate chops Vegeta in the balls)

THE MUTHAFREAKIN' END! 


End file.
